Throughout the show “How I Met Your Mother” Ted and his friends periodically hold an intervention for one of the characters with the intent of revealing a certain harmful behavior along with the damage it causes to their relationships. So what is an intervention? It is an interruption in one’s life to address a behavior that is hurting someone who loves you and whom you love. This is the story of God’s divine intervention in my life.
My family is very strong in the faith and they have always encouraged me to grow a deep relationship with the Lord. All through my school years I was an active member of a Presbyterian church in Pittsburgh attending Sunday services, youth group, numerous mission trips, the choir, and vacation Bible school. I lead a Bible study at my high school and facilitated the prayer before each lacrosse game. I was considered the “perfect church girl” and people gave me the nickname “innocent liz” in high school. I was the happy girl who appeared to have it all together and I prided myself in this. However, behind this self manufactured front, I was sinning. I was turning to idols, participating in sinful behavior, and so much more. But no one could see that! I would not let that happen in order to preserve the perfect image others perceived. I justified my actions, telling myself they were not sinful or were not “that bad”, thus hiding my brokenness from everyone, from God, and from myself.
This is where I am going to pause in telling my story and introduce Psalm 51. This Psalm was written by David after he committed adultery and murder and was pleading to the Lord.
Psalm 51: 7-9 says:
“Purge me in hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than
snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones You have broken may rejoice.
Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities”
This past summer I worked at a Christian summer camp with the chance to hang out with 13-15 year old girls riding ziplines, playing dodgeball, and talking about Jesus. Everyday I led my cabin of girls through a Bible study designed for each group in the camp. I had led the study a few times at this point, but as I read through the study one particular day and asked my campers the question “Is there a sin God is trying to reveal to you?” I felt myself asking my heart that same question. “Is there a sin God is trying to reveal to you Liz?” I immediately felt the weight of my answer...yes. Everything that I had been denying myself, others, and God came rushing to the forefront and God revealed how far my sin separates Him from me. I was revealed one sin that I have wrestled with and God debunked every justification I had made to defend those actions. I was overwhelmed with sadness, hopelessness and brokenness.
That night I desperately tried to hide tears behind my mask at our staff meeting while our director talked about God’s promise to make all things new. I did not understand how that was possible; I was sitting in so much brokenness and unfaithfulness, feeling so far away from God due to the sin that I welcomed into my life. My friend saw my tears and in our conversation I cried, confessing everything: my sin, the way I had denied it, and how God had revealed just how much damage it brought to my relationship with Him. And just like that...Liz’s perfect, put together front that she prided herself in was gone. God really came into my life and broke me down, wrecking my fake identity, and humbling me into recognizing the weight of my sin.
Psalm 51:8 says “the bones that YOU have broken may rejoice”. Before you rebuild anew you need to tear down the old and God broke me down, giving me the spirit of conviction to then begin the reconstruction period.
Psalm 51:10-11 says:
“Create in me a clean heart O God , And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast
me away from your presence and do not take your Holy Spirit from me”
If you look up the definition of “healing” you will find that it is “the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again”...it is a process and not one aha moment. While those enlightening moments do happen, complete healing takes time. As this summer continued, I had numerous conversations and dove into scripture surrounding sin, repentance, and forgiveness. I was struggling with the ideas of receiving God’s forgiveness, asking forgiveness from others, and forgiving myself.
Psalm 51:12-13 says
“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by your generous Spirit. Then I
will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You”
I felt and still feel so empty, so broken, and so dirty from sin as God continues to purify my heart. I am longing for that joy of salvation David is talking about, so as I was preparing my story I was very hesitant because I am still in the middle of my testimony. I always thought that testimonies had to have a happy ending but I vulnerably sit before you exposed, sinful, and still struggling through the healing process of forgiveness. But there is a happy ending. My entire life of sin and summer of revelation tells the story of God’s faithfulness despite my unfaithfulness. God is making all things new through the restoration of His joy.
He is making my heart new and even as my imperfection turns to sin, God’s love for me has never and will never waver. He has forgiven you and me, giving us hope in knowing that we can come before Him without Him turning us away. And just as Psalm 51: 13 says “Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You”, let my story be an example of how sin separates us from God but how God’s love welcomes us back. So I have two questions for you…
Is there a sin God is trying to reveal to you?
How has God been faithful?