One of the first things we are taught as Christians is to love your neighbor as yourself. It is one of the most important commandments in the Bible (Mark 12:30-31). We are also taught to “do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12). Through these verses, God is calling us to love. Love is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is a deliberate affection toward others in purposeful acts of sacrifice and kindness. Love walks hand in hand with other fruits of the Holy Spirit: goodness and kindness. Goodness is a love that motivates us to serve others and help those in need. Kindness is a sincere love for others and is the attitude you hold in your heart behind the good works you do.
Sometimes, though, the attitude you hold in your heart regarding love is not always the best because it can feel like your love gets taken advantage of. People have seen your past actions of goodness and kindness, and because you are seen as “the nice one,” people might take advantage of you. They might hurt your feelings, leave things to be done by you, and ask you for things they wouldn’t ask of others because they know you will turn the other cheek and not retaliate.
It can be really hard to know the difference between walking in love and being walked over. We know that as Christians, we show others who God is by the way we hold ourselves and act. We know that we are supposed to take the high road and respond in love, choosing to forgive. However, we should also know that taking the high road does not mean allowing ourselves to be walked over.
Love does not just apply to others. Love applies to yourself too, and we cannot truly love others unless we love ourselves first. And loving ourselves sometimes means standing up for ourselves. In Hebrews 12, Paul urges us to “throw off everything that hinders.” Being taken advantage of is something that hinders us from loving ourselves, and if we cannot say no, then we also cannot truly say yes.
Love is not comfortable, and it is certainly not easy. But if we are truly to do the will of God and walk in His ways, it is essential not only to love others but to love ourselves as well. Who we are with other people shows who we are with Christ. As recipients of God’s unconditional love and kindness, we should be the ones most ready to give it to others, but this does not mean that we should allow ourselves to be walked over in the process.